Resilience and Perseverance

A few months ago Chris (Chris and Vic) had sent me an article about resilience, thinking it would make a great post. Although I agreed with her, I was dealing with Paige's mental health issues at the time and was drained and feeling a bit jaded. As I sat down to write the post, I honestly couldn't clear my head and come up with an example on resilience in our lives.

About that same time, Doc Rob took on Chris's question and posted a response that was incredible.

http://distractible.org/2007/08/26/ask-dr-rob-resilience/

Both Chris's question and Doc Rob's post left me feeling a bit angry at myself that I couldn't see this in my child. She has gone through so much in her 9 years yet I couldn't see through her severe OCD and statements of thoughts of suicide.

That all changed this week.

During a trip to the mall, Paige asked if she could try the rock climbing wall in the sporting goods store. We stood below it, looking up at the giant. It was Mount Everest and it was calling her. I agreed to let her try it and off she went.

Right after I took this picture Paige started slipping. She called down to the teen aged boy holding her rope, "Ok, I'm ready to come down."

I was so proud of her. She had made it almost 2 stories. I knew her hands must have been hurting.

"Nope. You're not done. Keep going." the boy yelled back.

I'm now screaming on the inside, "She has mild CP. She's got to be hurting. Listen kid, do you know how hard it was for her to yell down to you. Now let her down!" But, I kept my thoughts to myself and just watched her.

She went up a bit further and, just as I snapped this picture, she slipped.

I yelled up to her, "Paige, you can come down now if you'd like." Paige said nothing but the look she shot me said it all. I could hear her thoughts, from 2 stories up. You're embarrassing me Mom!"

When she first slipped she looked shocked, but only for a very quick moment. Then she started to swim. Yep, swim. In mid air. I was sure you could hear her giggles all through the store. She swam back to the wall and proceeded to continue climbing Mount Everest.

I started to cry. It wasn't one of the movie quality cries either. I was sobbing. Ugly sobbing. It was at that very moment that I thought of Chris and Doc Rob. My precious baby girl is resilient and I was too blind to see it. I was living in the moment, dealing with only what was in front of my face. I failed to look back and see how far she had come. Not how far we all had come, but how far SHE had come. She has grown so much on her own, by her own perseverance and I missed it. Until now.

She slipped, swam and giggled a few more times.

And finally reached the top of the giant mountain.

Paige went on a forward journey that day. A 47 foot journey of perseverance. (and some slipping, swimming and giggling too).

Her journey led me to look back at how far she had come. I can now see the meaning of resilience and perseverance, by simply looking at her beautiful blue eyes.