Monday, May 18, 2009

Moving On

After cutting through all of the bullshit (sorry-I'm in a mood), it seems that most can agree that resuscitation should be a personal choice. Agreed?


If the conversation was to end there, most would be able to take a deep breath and go on discussing the long term impacts of prematurity and how they may affect ones life and the lives of the family.

Wait. Then we'll get stuck because some people don't like the way the statistics are compiled. Some believe that it doesn't tell a whole story and some believe that certain issues shouldn't be considered a disability.

So, we argue about statistics and we move on.

Wait. We'll get stuck again because some people don't like it when parents discuss how hard life can be. For some reason an open discussion of our daily lives leads some to think that you don't love or value your child.


We'll all change and start only talking about the happy, happy, joy, joy parts to our lives. Would that make everyone happy? We'll all just stop talking about the long term issues that our kiddos endure or will face in the future. No more honesty.

Guess what? The issues will still be there. Our kiddos will still have seizures, constipation, mental health issues, CP, blindness, social issues, intellectual difficulties, etc. Marriages will still fail. Families will still struggle financially. Parents who were told that there child will catch up by age 2 or 3 will be wondering how they failed their child because he/she is still behind.

Our silence will solve NOTHING! Does it mean that we love our children any less because we openly discuss the issues? I'm still baffled why people think it will. I love my children, with all of my being. I've devoted my life to them and their happiness. (if anyone doubts this... try homeschooling your own child and you'll see how much I love Paige-lol) Just because I talk about how prematurity has affected all of us, does NOT mean I love her any less!

I don't mind the argumentative nature of the comments but what I cannot stand is the nasty bickering.

We will all disagree at times. Get over it. State your point and move on.

As for attacking Helen. She is merely the messenger. You may not like what she has to say but she backs it up with statistics, none of which she compiled. She is merely the messenger!


Susie Korbel said...

I think honesty is the most important ingredient in any form of communication. You are right- keeping silent does nothing but put forward the common misconceptions that people have about preemies.

People still don't understand me when I tell them that I was a preemie... they look at me and say, well, you're fine now, right? The general public has such a rosy picture of prematurity that it honestly makes me sick. Women ask their doctors to induce earlier and earlier because they are "tired" of being pregnant- I've seen it happen with acquaintances and it's hard to bite my tongue.

I try to point people here because I believe that your blog provides one of the only balanced perspectives that their is. Anyone who would read this and see only the bad, or think that your posts mean that you don't love your children, is coming from such a biased perspective of their own that they deliberately look for these types of things in your posts.

I hope that even if you choose not to write anymore, that you will let the blog stand for all the people out there who need to see the full picture on prematurity.

mother to lilike in 2003 locke in 2006 and anjeni-katalin in 2008 said...

Your posts are well written and are a good way of helping others cope with different ways of going about there childrens lives being effected by prematurity. Life is no easy task, everyone needs assistance on ocassions or on alot of ocassions and because you are someone who can speak out on issues of prematurity which helps to reach out to others to help ease tough situations in there childs lives then that is a good thing.

motherof3darlings said...

If any of the other moms wish to discuss preemie issues all they wan't so that arguments won't go on they can create there own preemie blogs about the issues they wish to discuss at a website about preemies at

I thought this was interesting a video about babies swimming at home which may be an ideal therapy set back by health issues caused by prematurity.
The WaterWayBabies System is a patented swim therapy method that parents can use to stimulate and strengthen their baby and help improve physical and mental development.

tbonegrl said...


I am so sorry I hadn't been by recently. I am sorry about the horrible post, and the fear for yourself and helen. Could you email me or post on my blog? I still love keeping up with you and Paige.

ThePreemie Experiment said...

I am going to close the comments section of this post because of spam.