Whenever people hear that Paige has escaped some of the big medical long term impacts related to prematurity I hear, "you're lucky".
Well tonight I am sitting in my room crying.
Paige is in her room crying.
The meltdown started at bedtime and is still going on. She lost it. She is having thoughts that the police are going to come take her away. I don't even know where she got that thought from. She just came in my room, screaming at me that she is having thoughts that her brother, father and I are going to die. This hasn't happened in such a long time.
I can't hug this away. I tried tonight. Believe me I tried. She cries harder.
So, to all of you who think we are so much better off because prematurity did not leave it's mark on Paige's lungs or her muscles or her intelligence. Think again.
My baby is suffering right now and I can't fix it.
I don't feel so lucky right now.