Below is a conversation between Paige and I while she was in the chair, at the dentist, waiting for the numbness to take effect, to get her tooth pulled.
Mom, when is my next test?
What test Paige? (thinking she was talking about homeschooling)
(I paused to think) Hey, guess what? You don't have ANY tests scheduled. Wow, that must feel good.
But what about my EEG's?
You don't have one scheduled.
But I'm supposed to have one every year. The last one showed spikes.
Paige, they always show spikes. Remember the doctor said that they would always show spikes but that doesn't mean that you are having seizures. He said that we didn't need to come back unless we thought you were having seizures.
What about my blood tests Mom? Or my MRI's?
Nope. You don't need any.
But what about...
Honey, you really do not need any tests right now. You are doing great.
The dentist walks in. She tries to pull Paige's tooth but Paige ended up needing more novacaine (or whatever "caine" they use now). After 4 or 5 shots Paige is finally numb. The dentist struggles to get the tooth out (it was a back tooth that had such a bad infection that even a pulpectomy didn't work). Paige never struggles or cries even though the dentist really has to work the tooth to get it out. The dentist looks concerned but finally gets the tooth out. The dentist was visibly shaken. I wanted to cry. I have seen Paige endure a lot of medical procedures but this was harsh. Her little head was really being thrashed. Her small mouth was stretched so wide. It was horrific. But Paige remained calm.
The dentist leaves the room. Paige tries to sit up and her entire body starts to shake. Her eyes roll. This lasts for less than a minute. She whimpers, "mom, why am I shaking?". A few minutes later she sits up like nothing happened. The dentist came back in with Paige's tooth, all cleaned up. Paige spends a few minutes examining it with great excitement and then hops out of the chair and skips to the waiting room. While I'm making her next appointment (to get her spacer) she yells from the waiting room...
Mom, you forgot about my eye test. See, I knew I had a test coming.
When we got home she curled up on the couch for a short time but then decided to get up and play with her cousin. That was it. Through all of that trauma she only needed a few minutes to rest and she was fine. It was a huge tooth. But the trauma was all ours (mine and the dentist).
After we put the kids to bed I fell apart. Sobbing uncontrollably. Poor hubby didn't know what to do since I'm usually a rock when it comes to her medical procedures. I've had to be that way.
It was then that it hit me about my conversation with Paige. I was feeling so overwelmed after watching the procedure but also feeling overjoyed that we didn't have a test scheduled. This is the first time in 9 1/2 years that we don't have an upcoming test or procedure. The first time that I don't have to prepare myself to watch my baby be stuck with a needle or jammed with a tube.
So why was she troubled by the lack of medical intervention in her life? You would think she would be relieved. To be honest, she is never stressed when she has tests (barium enema excluded) but you would still think that her joy would match mine. Actually it should have been greater.
But, it's all she has known.
(For those who have known us for awhile and remember that the docs said she may very well have orthostatic intollerance... hmmm do we really need a tilt table test now? I think her reaction after being sat up in the chair says it all. Who needs an expensive test. lol)