Sunday, December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas To Me!

I was given a gift today, a gift that I have longed for since Paige was in the NICU for her first Christmas

Hovering over her incubator my thoughts ran a mile a minute. My baby wasn't supposed be born yet. Why did she have to be stuck in a plastic box instead of being home waiting for Santa? People were decorating their trees, shopping, wrapping presents and making cookies. We couldn't bring ourselves to enjoy any part of the holiday. I can't wait to bake cookies with you sweetie.

Over the past 9 years I have tried, quite a few times, to bake cookies with Paige. Something always happens (attitude problems, feet hurt, hands hurt, etc) that prevents us from finishing the cookies without a huge argument or meltdown (mommy meltdowns too).

I gave up a few years ago. It wasn't worth my sanity or jepordising my, already strained, relationship with her.

A few days ago hubby and I were at the grocery store (while Paige was visiting Grandma) when we decided it may be time to try to make cookies with Paige. I was willing to give it a go and grabbed a package of mix. Using a mix would cut down on the prep time, thus lessoning the likelihood that the project would end early.

Hubby had a different plan. He wanted to make them from scratch. Not just one kind either... chocolate chip AND sugar cookies to decorate. Icing and all. And by "he", he meant Paige and I making them.

This morning her and I got all set up.

We started to combine all of the ingredients and then we headed to the counter to use the beaters. She wasn't happy about having to use them and had me turn them on while she covered her ears. In the past, that very step may have ended our project.

Not this year.

Look at her go!! Woo Hoo!!

Not only did we make cookies, but we had FUN!

Paige and I made the sugar cookies...

Daddy and Paige made the chocolate chip cookies, complete with egg juggling too!

Just as Paige and I were getting ready to cut out our 2nd round of sugar cookies, she lost interest.

Playing in the flour was much more fun than cutting out 20 more holiday shapes. In the past I would have been upset. Today, I focused on watching her enjoy the flour and remembering how much fun we had making cookies. Thank you sweetie for making cookies with mommy.

Tonight, after putting tornado Tyler to bed, Paige, Daddy and I curled up in our bed to watch our annual Christmas movie... A Christmas Story. Part way through the movie Paige got off the bed and told us that she would be right back. 15 minutes later she came in with a cookie. A decorated cookie! My little angel got out all of the decorating tubes, icings and plain cookies to decorate a cookie for me. The tears. Oh boy were there ever tears!

9 years ago I watched my tiny girl spend her first Christmas hooked up to tubes and wires, waiting for the day that we could enjoy Christmas traditions. Today I spent the day staring at my big girl, watching her smile and listening to her beg to lick the beaters.

My heart is full today.


Anonymous said...

That is so great to have a parent fantasy come true! I love it when that happens! What a lovely treat for you.

Long Term Listener said...

Hi Stacy
Great great news. These triumphs mean so very very much.

I hope you have a blessed 2008 in whatever way you wish for and need.

Take a break now!

Happy Christmas One and All :-)

Kathy said...

So, so touching. Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Awww, Stacy,
That is such a heart-warmer. If you felt this good, just think how good Paige (and dad) feel about this triumph!
Now you need a new goal, something just as super, to look forward to . . .
Chris and Vic

Carrie said...

That was great. Thanks for sharing.

Tammy said...

Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas and have a blessed New Year!

Ex Utero said...


We made cookies also and I thought of this post as I was eating one of them today.

Happy Holidays and congratulations also on this year of your blog. One of the few I continue to find time to visit anymore.

Ex Utero said...


We made cookies also and I thought of this post as I was eating one of them today.

Happy Holidays and congratulations also on this year of your blog. One of the few I continue to find time to visit anymore.

Microsmom said...

Congrats on a fun day. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a few restful, fun family days.

Helen Harrison said...

My daughter Amy (who has come to know you, Stacy, via email) made Christmas dinner for us -- rack of lamb, pureed chestnuts and more -- and we talked a lot about you and Paige, and the triumph of the Christmas cookies. Amy remembers being 9 years old...and trying to cook with me. So many *interesting* memories!

Just wanted you to know that you and your family have been an important part of our Christmas Eve celebration -- and it's not quite over yet. Dishes to do!

Amy, DH, and Edward join me in wishing you all a Merry Christmas!


terri w/2 said...

Very cool, Stacy! What a milestone for you and Paige! This is a Christmas gift of the best kind.

NICU101 said...

Truly wonderful. I'm glad you got such a beautiful gift! I shed a few tears of my own last night, remembering two years ago, when we left the hospital on Christmas Eve without our little girl (born 12/21). I hope a Christmas to come brings tears of joy for us too!

Jenny said...

How wonderful! Merry Christmas to you and yours. :)

Anonymous said...

Your neonatologists made this day possible. Are you grateful?

MommaWriter said...

What a fantastic story! You remind me of just how grateful I should be that I couldn't get my kids to *stop* decorating cookies this year. They had a fantastic time.

Congratulations to Paige for braving the beaters and taking the initiative to decorate a cookie for you.

Hope you had a terrific Christmas. Best wishes to all of you for 2008. I hope there are many more great memories to be made!

Stacey (the one with the 'e')

The Preemie Experiment said...

Thank you all for the kind words.

Thank you to the last anonymous person who commented too. I now have a topic for a future post. I will answer your question then.

I hope the rest of the year is peaceful for everyone and 2008 brings all that is desired.

Laura said...

what a beautiful family!
meryy christmas!
i'm so glad you had wonderful blessings to enjoy!

sce said...

Stacy, I'm jealous! I had to work Christmas eve this year, and my children made Christmas cookies with their Jewish nanny.

I wanted to tell you about an article in the paper this morning about a NICU on the west coast engaging in their own "preemie" experiment -- putting all the babies, (Or at least the small preemies) in very quiet dimly lit private rooms "that mimic the dark fluid filled environment of the mother's womb". The hope is that there will be less learning disabilities and the like. The article doesn't specify whether or not they are doing formal research.

Katenali said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
medrecgal said...

What a fabulous story! These are the kind of posts that keep me returning despite the occasionally off-putting dialogues that I read in the comments. This is the kind of thing that is a testament to your family's hard work, perseverance, and love in raising your former preemies. Love the pics, too!

Sarah said...

You know, in response to the negative comment, I have but one question...

Is Jason freakishly tall?

I mean, seriously, the picture of him and Paige looking at each other makes him look like a giant.

Great pics, by the way, even if your family is oddly 'lengthy.' LOL!

The Preemie Experiment said...

Sarah wrote: "Is Jason freakishly tall?"

lol! Jason is 6'3" and in that picture Paige is kneeling on a chair.

There are days I swear he is still growing because he hovers over me! And, there is no way I'll admit to shrinking. I was 5'8" the last time I believed the measurement. I don't care that the last few times I've measured only 5'7". I refuse to believe that I'm already shrinking! lol

abby said...

That was a lovely post and a lovely treat for the whole family.

Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Sheila- Hello, reality check. Her daughter is alive because the hospital saved her life. Had this not happened, there would be no child, no cookies, no memories. Get past the bitterness of your own life and face the basics- another anon.

katenali said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Preemie Experiment said...

I have removed Sheila's comments and I will say this... it was not by my choice. I would not have removed them if it was up to me but Sheila did not want to fuel the trolls and bring negativity to this post.

Also, I will not be addressing the comments made by anonymous under this post. I will be doing so at a later time.

tbonegrl said...

Just beautiful! Thanks for the smile and the tears!

kellarsmommy said...

What a wonderful present...Way to go Paige!!!! I bet your cookies were yummy yummy!!!

kate said...

Bravo Paige and bravo you, Stacy! How wonderful!

Anonymous said...

I sat in awe reading your journal of struggles and triumphs. While my daughter was born at 33 weeks I too know the fear and joys of preemie hood. Some of my best friends are preemie parents. Your daughter is truly gorgeous and while the doctors may say she looks good to me in the outward sense, I can say she looks good to me int he preemie sense. For all your hard work together as a mom loving her preemie and a daughter struggling to live and be all she can be. Thank you for giving other moms and dads hope. Happy holidays!

Stacey said...

Well shoot, that's just about the sweetest thing I've ever read.