Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Tears, tears and more tears

Since my last blog post a lot has changed in our lives, as it obviously should since I haven't blogged in 10 months. But one constant seems to be that I'm quite teary. It seems that every time I turn a corner something happens that makes me cry.

Good tears and bad.

Some people may not understand why the act of crying is a big deal to me, others will completely understand when I explain. See, for the past (almost) 13 years I've held my emotions tight. After my water broke (at 23 weeks) and Paige was born (at 25.5) weeks I learned that crying would do nobody any good. I learned to turn off the tears as soon as they would come to the surface. It was difficult at first but became easier as the years went on. I'm not emotionless by any means. I just don't really cry often.

But there are the moments in life when something catches me so off guard that the tears start to flow before I can stop them. Sometimes I wonder if all the tears I should have been shedding over the years aren't stored up somewhere in my body. When the faucet gets turned on, 13 years of tears are trying to pour out.

Now I can't seem to turn off the faucet. We've had some big changes over the past 10 months, been in some pretty emotion filled situations too. I am constantly fighting off tears. Even as I type this the tears are trying to come out.

I'm hoping that by blogging again I can deal with some of these feelings head on.

By the way... I've missed you all. Silly, I know. But it's true.

17 comments:

  1. I was happy to see you in my Google Reader today! I always loved your blog!
    Can't wait for you to start blogging more. I missed you, too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. New reader, and I have to say I love your blog and I'm happy you are posting. I was a 24wk,680g preemie in 1988, and your blog helps me answer a lot of questions I have about myself.

    Tears are okay.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's nice to meet you. My preemie arrived just 6.5 months ago at 29 weeks, and I was shocked. In less than five hours, we went from healthy, easy, low risk pregnancy (the doctor said that) tiny preemie. I cry now more than ever, to be honest.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My daughter was a 25 weeker and is now almost 8 yrs old. There have been a lot of tears. She has been diagnosed with Aspergers and is having a terrible time in school. There's constant doctor's appts and meetings with the school. She has become violent towards others and herself. At this stage, I am so sad but I feel numb.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Glad to see you back, but terribly curious after reading your post (especially the title). Hope things are generally OK and looking forward to more posts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know what you mean. I don't blog often, I read more than I post, but I started as a way to let out my emotions and feelings after the birth of my 28 week preemie. It definitely has helped me lots in two years.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stacy,

    You are back! Your blog was one of the first things I read almost four years ago when my 27 week preemie twins were born. I certainly hope you will keep us updated-you are a special person to us.

    I agree-tears are okay.

    Lynn

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yay! Good to see you back. I've missed you, here and at PBM.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I hope you return to blogging, I am a former NICU nurse (I now do full time Perinatal Bereavement Care) and I find the things you have written about very important.

    Congratulations on your daughter turning 13...my only daughter just turned 16 and we went to Paris just the 2 of us. We couldnt afford it so we got a bad hotel room and learned to ride busses/Metro but the best stuff there is free.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Stacy- I wish you were still posting! This is one of the few blogs with honest information about the long term mental health impacts of prematurity.

    ReplyDelete
  11. HOW I GOT CURED OF HERPES VIRUS.

    Hello everyone out there, i am here to give my testimony about a herbalist called dr imoloa. i was infected with herpes simplex virus 2 in 2013, i went to many hospitals for cure but there was no solution, so i was thinking on how i can get a solution out so that my body can be okay. one day i was in the pool side browsing and thinking of where i can get a solution. i go through many website were i saw so many testimonies about dr imoloa on how he cured them. i did not believe but i decided to give him a try, i contacted him and he prepared the herpes for me which i received through DHL courier service. i took it for two weeks after then he instructed me to go for check up, after the test i was confirmed herpes negative. am so free and happy. so, if you have problem or you are infected with any disease kindly contact him on email drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com. or / whatssapp --+2347081986098.
    This testimony serve as an expression of my gratitude. he also have
    herbal cure for, FEVER, DIARRHOEA, MOUTH ULCER, MOUTH CANCER FATIGUE, MUSCLE ACHES, LUPUS, SKIN CANCER, PENILE CANCER, BREAST CANCER, PANCREATIC CANCER, CHRONIC KIDNEY DISEASE, VAGINAL CANCER, CERVICAL CANCER, DISEASE, JOINT PAIN, POLIO DISEASE, PARKINSON'S DISEASE, ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, INFLAMMATORY JOINT DISEASE CYSTIC FIBROSIS, SCHIZOPHRENIA, CORNEAL ULCER, EPILEPSY, FETAL ALCOHOL SPECTRUM, LICHEN PLANUS, COLD SORE, SHINGLES, CANCER, HEPATITIS A, B. DIABETES 1/2, HIV/AIDS, CHRONIC PANCERATIC, CHLAMYDIA, ZIKA VIRUS, EMPHYSEMA, LOW SPERM COUNT, ENZYMA, DRY COUGH, ARTHRITIS, LEUKAEMIA, LYME DISEASE, ASTHMA, IMPOTENCE, BARENESS/INFERTILITY, WEAK ERECTION, PENIS ENLARGEMENT. AND SO ON.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Herpes is a serious and recurring disease which can't be cured through drugs or injections by the doctors but the best way to deal with Herpes is by taking natural herbs medicine for it,  I have read about DR NOGADU the great herbalist doctor who cure me from herpes  with his powerful herbal medicine.  i contacted him to know how he can help me and he told me never to worry that he will help me with the natural herbs from God! After 2 days of contacting him, he told me that the cure has been ready and he sent it to me via UPS SPEED POST and it got to me after 3 days! i used the medicine as he instructed me (MORNING and EVENING) and i was cured! It was really like a dream but i was  so happy! you should contact him for his herbal medicine because i am a living testimony and i was cured of herpes and his medicine is legit.  I sent him what he requested and he sent me his medicine which I took for 2 good weeks and today I am out here with a negative result. When I went for the test I was so happy after going through his medication. you can reach him through his email: drnogaduherbalist@gmail.com or call/whatsapp number:+2347010627760 he will help you out.

    ReplyDelete
  13. File Viewer Plus Crack is a single file viewer for Windows which is an open file and displays over 300 different types. In it, you can edit your file and save it with new changes.
    Recover My Files Crack License Key
    Faststone Image Viewer Crack
    Flinto Crack

    ReplyDelete
  14. I guess I am the only one who came here to share my very own experience. Guess what!? I am using my laptop for almost the past 2 years, but I had no idea of solving some basic issues. I do not know how to Crack Room But thankfully, I recently visited a website named Cracked Fine

    File Viewer Plus

    ReplyDelete
  15. I guess I am the only one who came here to share my very own experience. Guess what!? I am using my laptop for almost the past 2 years, but I had no idea of solving some basic issues. I do not know how to saqibtech.net But thankfully, saqibtech.net

    yellow leads extractor crack
    easy disk catalog maker with keygen with crack
    noteburner video converter crack
    file viewer plus crack
    audio amplifier pro crack

    ReplyDelete
  16. Best herbal remedy for herpes____________________________




    Reach out to.. R.buckler11 (((@gmail…… com )))

    ReplyDelete