tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post5227149740963745344..comments2024-03-14T01:22:29.342-05:00Comments on The Preemie Experiment: OCD and My Thin SkinThePreemie Experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15882375368535807238noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-88945851834246923052008-07-19T15:48:00.000-05:002008-07-19T15:48:00.000-05:00Helen said: "Self-multilation/OCD ... indicates a...Helen said: "Self-multilation/OCD ... indicates a brain disorder that, according to my sources, seems to involve the amygdala and caudate nucleus, among other brain centers."<BR/><BR/>I had a thought about OCD lately somehow similar to some behaviors in the nesting instinct and thinking that perhaps this was a function of the primitive brain.<BR/><BR/>I THINK but I may be wrong that the amygdala and caudate nucleus are part of the primitive brain. <BR/><BR/>For example, the need in OCD for collecting things, not letting things go, creating a certain kind of order in the environment reminded me of a little critter creating a nest.<BR/><BR/>This isn't well written or well thought but I thought that somehow these behaviors that we see in OCD are connected to the primitive brain and an expression of a more primitive and reflexive kind of behavior. Perhaps instinct, but instinct acted out to a much greater degree in OCD.<BR/><BR/>Regarding Anonymous July 7 9:27, my honest response was that I think Stacy should have the right to set boundaries and delete that comment. At the same time, I see an element of courage in Stacy allowing it to remain on the blog. <BR/><BR/>We may, with life experience and maturity, develop skills that give us the ability to deflect negative energy or not engage, or to learn to not take things personally - but non-validating, judgmental, personal and malicious comments hurt and do nothing constructive for any of us - except give us the challenge to learn to "rise above" such behavior. <BR/><BR/>JoanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-21237680682328967862008-07-14T17:10:00.000-05:002008-07-14T17:10:00.000-05:00That's so sad that someone could say such a cruel ...That's so sad that someone could say such a cruel and ignorant thing, Stacy. I'm sorry for the pain it caused you.<BR/><BR/>(and psst... thanks for adding me to your Facebook!)Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10465076498021100744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-18259822973710959022008-07-14T00:40:00.000-05:002008-07-14T00:40:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-28041880905143737552008-07-13T17:09:00.000-05:002008-07-13T17:09:00.000-05:00I have not been here in a while so am taking the o...I have not been here in a while so am taking the opportunity to catch up and (for once) read a number of comments. Since I know that Stacy is working up a post regarding our recent meeting, I am going to take the liberty of posting my impressions for those of you who seem to get the impression that there is some kind of hyperfocus on medical issues in their lives. It is really worth bearing in mind that this blog is here for discussion of preemie issues and that means medical issues are the primary concern.<BR/><BR/>When Stacy and I first began talking about meeting (at least two or three years ago), it was with the knowledge that Paige knew about her prematurity and might benefit from meeting an adult preemie and forming a relationship in which she would feel safe to ask questions. Paige knows that I am a preemie and that her mom met me on a preemie community. But when we met, she said, "Hi, I'm Paige," just like any other kid I know. We went into a store, and she wanted to look at pink carseats. We had a good laugh about the idea of her baby brother riding in pink, and we talked about pink being my favorite color because I can see it but some things not looking good in pink. (She wanted to know if I had another favorite color--and she could probably remember what I said.)<BR/><BR/>We actually had two days together. On the second day, we had lunch. I took her with me to watch while I did some usability testing on options for accessible currency. I was surprised she didn't mind being out of Stacy's sight. We later went and had coffee/hot chocolate and cookies in the deli. She put ice in her hot chocolate and created a latte. It's something my local friend's nine-year-old would have done. I had to work to remember that I was with C and not Paige.<BR/><BR/>Paige is a real, live nine-year-old little girl who happens to have an extra set of challenges to deal with in her life. The fact that she knows what they are means that she can educate herself and find the support she needs. I am proud to know her! As you read these blogs, don't forget that you're reading the stories of real people, even if they do use pseudonyms. Sitting at the coffee shop with them, you see the whold person. Reading the blog, you get whatever they choose to reveal.Sarah Blakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15877600729910472069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-31377968278836295492008-07-13T12:08:00.000-05:002008-07-13T12:08:00.000-05:00Stacy, I hope you will show this to Paige. I miss ...Stacy, I hope you will show this to Paige. I miss you, honey. We'll do it again very soon. There will be a very special surprise in your mom's email sometime this week just for you. [hugs] from me and Loretta!Sarah Blakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15877600729910472069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-35799963084496431262008-07-13T08:47:00.000-05:002008-07-13T08:47:00.000-05:00Very much looking forward to the upcoming post!Very much looking forward to the upcoming post!23wktwinsmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00938265379492098537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-39361756568970599762008-07-13T06:38:00.000-05:002008-07-13T06:38:00.000-05:00Sarah....Oh boy do we miss you!! Paige cried all ...Sarah....<BR/><BR/>Oh boy do we miss you!! Paige cried all the way home Friday!! <BR/><BR/>I will be doing a blog post of my own about our visit (once I can get my emotions in check and can form a solid sentence) but then I hope the offer still holds that you will do one with me. <BR/><BR/>To my readers, bear with me for a few days. There is a new post coming (with pictures). But the few days that Paige and I spent with Sarah, Kevin and Michelle (you'll have to wait to find out who they are) had a huge impact on my life and I'm trying to sort it all out in order to write a post that others will be able to understand and one that will do justice to the admiration I have for the above mentioned people.ThePreemie Experimenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15882375368535807238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-53638405503748155182008-07-13T06:33:00.000-05:002008-07-13T06:33:00.000-05:00Thank you to everyone who came to Paige's (and my)...Thank you to everyone who came to Paige's (and my) defense. I am forever grateful for the support. I am proud that my skin has thickened and those comments don't bother me anymore. I am even more proud of the loving nature of those who read my blog!!ThePreemie Experimenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15882375368535807238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-11932747424390271132008-07-13T01:59:00.000-05:002008-07-13T01:59:00.000-05:00Reading the comments... A few thoughts on privacy ...Reading the comments... A few thoughts on privacy from someone who has grown up in the preemie seat. I'm too old for my mom to have had a blog during my childhood. We have letters that she and other family members passed around to people who are unknown to me. They say things like, "Our three-year-old granddaughter is blind ..." before proceeding to expound on some accomplishment I had made or explain something they had learned about life because of me. I enjoy reading these letters. They are much more enjoyable than the childhood memories I have of people asking, "What's wrong with her?" in a nasty voice and hearing my parents and grandparents explain as nicely as they could, "She's blind." I remember my sister exploding in restaurants, "Quit staring at my sister!" I never had a private life, and I was not a person back then. I am often not a person now. I am that lady with the dog--if I am considered a lady at all. Often I am a "girl," or my dog's name is learned but not mine. People feel very free to ask me questions about my disability but not about my personal life. I have learned that they don't want to know who I am. So I am very comfortable talking openly about my situation. I can control what I reveal, and it doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me that my family talks about me. When you live with disability, your life often becomes an open book whether you want it to or not. Being willing to talk about it gives you the control over the book instead of the rest of the world.Sarah Blakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15877600729910472069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-42912247390793415442008-07-13T01:23:00.000-05:002008-07-13T01:23:00.000-05:00[hugs] I'm glad you posted this. And I'm so glad I...[hugs] I'm glad you posted this. And I'm so glad I got to meet you and Paige this week. Btw, you can tell her that no one at the convention knew she had scars. That'll make her two days even better, as if that would be possible. :)Sarah Blakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15877600729910472069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-66585709259852127742008-07-12T22:58:00.000-05:002008-07-12T22:58:00.000-05:00Laura saidAnonymous July 12, 2008 3:23 said..."You...Laura said<BR/><BR/>Anonymous July 12, 2008 3:23 said...<BR/>"You know the sad thing about this blog is that I can tell you all of her medical dx, but nothing about her...... I have a chronically ill preemie and he is not an illness to others but a person. This is because of the way it is presented to him and others by my husband and I. We don't use it for attention or to gain pity. We want people to respect our son for what he is, not what he has."<BR/><BR/>One thing about blogs and email lists is that they are misleading. A group dedicated to a certain condition talks about that condition all the time. Just because a group talks about disabilities does not mean that the real lives of those people revolve around those issues. <BR/><BR/>My daughter was a 22 5/7 weeker. She has very few preemie issues but tons of issues related to her underlying medical condition. I could rattle off tons diagnoses. I am not sure she doesn't have s body system that's not involved. But, while I speak about those things in venues such as this, we don't talk about it at home. It's not her thing. <BR/><BR/>Some things about Paige: she adores her brother, loved her dog, is really smart, and she tries so hard. OK, so Paige can rattle off her medical history. That doesn't mean it's her life. It doesn't mean her family talks about her health daily around the dinner table. It means she listens during physician appointments. She's had plenty of provider appointments. <BR/><BR/>Hey, Stacy, would Paige like to meet Katie's new horse? It looks like she's getting her wish soon. She thinks she's picked out a name, Joshua. She wants a name that means something and she likes the meaning and sound of Joshua. <BR/><BR/>You see, anonymous, Paige is just a nine year old girl.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-91026561457094500762008-07-12T16:39:00.000-05:002008-07-12T16:39:00.000-05:00From Helen Harrison to Anon 3:23:If you don't have...From Helen Harrison to Anon 3:23:<BR/><BR/>If you don't have a good idea of who Paige is, of her tenacious spirit, her musical talent, her precocity, her beauty, her "climb any mountain" approach to challenges --then you haven't been reading this blog very carefully. <BR/><BR/>Paige is a real and wonderful human being to those of us who have been here from the beginning. <BR/><BR/>Stacy and the rest of us do not write to elicit pity or gain attention, we are simply trying to carry on honest and informative conversations (among consenting adults) about prematurity. This means, among other things, candidly confronting our children's problems.<BR/><BR/>There are so many out there, who, for emotional, ideologic, professional and/or financial reasons, are uncomfortable with acknowledging the problems of prematurity. And as Sheila pointed out -- no one is forcing these people to participate here.<BR/><BR/>If you feel that forgoing such discussions will help your son live independently one day...well, you may be one of those people, and, if so, the solution is simple and obvious -- don't visit this blog! <BR/><BR/>To Kathy and Sheila:<BR/><BR/>Great posts you guys! Thanks!<BR/><BR/>Helen HarrisonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-20486135055023793222008-07-12T15:38:00.000-05:002008-07-12T15:38:00.000-05:00Kathy wrote:When do the rights of the parents to s...Kathy wrote:<BR/>When do the rights of the parents to seek an online community during difficult parenting situations supersede the right of a child not to be embarrassed someday?<BR/><BR/><BR/>Dear Kathy, <BR/><BR/>Although your entire post was magnificent (including your very sweet defense of my haste in posting a response here without proper editing) ..<BR/><BR/>I believe this was a most salient and provocative point. While the medium has changed from women sitting in their parlors discussing the distressing aspects of their mothering careers- the reliance on peer support has been around (so far as the archeological record permits) since we wandered out of our caves - and has been chiefly responsible for the advances we've made as a species for understanding our human nature. <BR/><BR/>Of course, what IS surprising is why folks who are offended by loving, honest, truthful discussions insist on eavesdropping ... the folks who post on Stacy's blog about their *real life* challenges are not (so far as I've heard) holding these people who are offended by frank honest discussions hostage and forcing them to read here. Of course there is no way to know if Stacy and Paige are pseudonyms ... and there is no reason to ponder their identities ... It is frankly offensive to ME that there are still people living amongst us that would have the Paige's and Edward's shunted away in isolated institutions so that their behaviors and conditions don't offend others. It's shocking to me actually. The notion that pretending that your child doesn't have conditions that they most clearly do, will only create a level of shame and inadequacy in handicapped children of low normal or normal IQ. Only children incapable of understanding their parents reactions and words might be spared from viewing their handicaps as something which shouldn't be discussed in polite society. How much worse a job can a parent do than to raise a child who feels completely judged, rejected and abandoned by the very people who are supposed to create their safe place to land. Do these anon's actually think that Paige is unaware that trying to gouge her own eyes out isn't abnormal ? Do they actually believe that reading a passage here that described her mothers' anguished, boundless loving concern for her would make her feel worse ? I think she'd feel much worse if she were gouging her eyes out and her parents were wrapped up in a discussion of what their getting at Walmart and what was going on with some inane reality TV program, and that her mothers blog contained only manufactured stories of how blissful life at their Casa was. <BR/><BR/>Kathy - you are an AMAZING writer. A brilliant parent and a wonderful, wonderful friend. I vote that the world order a few million Kathy's.<BR/><BR/>=SheilaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-6670627236599147672008-07-12T15:23:00.000-05:002008-07-12T15:23:00.000-05:00You know the sad thing about this blog is that I c...You know the sad thing about this blog is that I can tell you all of her medical dx, but nothing about her...... I have a chronically ill preemie and he is not an illness to others but a person. This is because of the way it is presented to him and others by my husband and I. We don't use it for attention or to gain pity. We want people to respect our son for what he is, not what he has. When my husband and I are gone he is going to have to take care of himself. How can he do a good job if all he is to other people is a disease?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-40031217928380141212008-07-12T13:30:00.000-05:002008-07-12T13:30:00.000-05:00For the scars, try vitamin E oil. Just pop the pil...For the scars, try vitamin E oil. Just pop the pill directly on the scar and rub it in. This worked wonders for my burn scars; I doubt OCD picking scars are any different.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-21014357656175083472008-07-12T09:36:00.000-05:002008-07-12T09:36:00.000-05:00Kathy,You bring up some interesting points on priv...Kathy,<BR/><BR/>You bring up some interesting points on privacy in the Internet Age. I too have a blog started May 2007 with the birth of our son who was born at 25 weeks. The original purpose of the blog was to keep family and friends informed about our son's tumultuous NICU journey, as my husband and I spent the summer by his bedside and weren't exactly socializing at that point. When he came home on oxygen and was kept in house during RSV season, we continued the blog. We have a lot of family out of town, so the blog is a way to keep in contact with them. We don't use our last names on the blog, but it is open for others to see.<BR/><BR/>I don't know how long we will keep the blog going, but we enjoying posting about our son's triumphs. He has made great progress overcoming some feeding problems.<BR/><BR/>I guess a large part of me just isn't concerned about privacy issues because although he has had problems, there isn't anything for him to be embarrassed about when it comes to his medical condition. The things we post on the blog are things that we would tell our friends and family if they were talking to us in person or over the phone. And, if we wanted to take the blog down later, we could.<BR/><BR/>Again, it is an interesting topic for discussion.<BR/><BR/>Best wishes.Kate K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07158172668549909983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-38986734873863565172008-07-12T01:35:00.000-05:002008-07-12T01:35:00.000-05:00Anonymous July 10, 2008 11:00 PM said:"I think PE ...Anonymous July 10, 2008 11:00 PM said:<BR/>"I think PE really loves her child, but what a mistake. Plus, how fair is it to post her pic and name on a public site with stories of scab pickings and eyeball gouging etc.? How much is she going to love THAT when she turns 16 or so??? Another parental boundary violation. A HUGE one. At least change her name and hide the pics."<BR/><BR/>Children's privacy in the age of "mommy bloggers" could be a whole new topic here, especially for parents who's kids have special needs. (Let's have that discussion sometime, Stacy!) When do the rights of the parents to seek an online community during difficult parenting situations supersede the right of a child not to be embarrassed someday?<BR/><BR/>The very parents who have the most potentially embarrassing things to post about their kids are the ones who most need an online community.<BR/><BR/>But I'd like to point out that, as far as any of us know, Stacy and Paige aren't their real names. And we don't know where they live, or their last name. There's no preemieexperiment.net that you can do a whois query on to get a home address. Unless someone is already in the world of preemies, or Paige talks about the blog (unlikely, it's gotta be pretty boring from a kid's point of view), it seems unlikely to me that a schoolmate would stumble upon this. As long as Paige doesn't link a MySpace page to it, and as long as they don't mention it while doing something that would get them into the local press, like a March of Dimes ambassador gig, I think it's unlikely it'll be discovered on the basis of photographs alone. "Security through obscurity is no security at all," the saying goes, but, well, it IS a little bit of security.<BR/><BR/>Some parents I know blog with very obvious pseudonyms. (A good friend who blogs a lot about her son's autism calls her boys "The Cat" and "Spliggle.") Other moms I know use slight variations on their kids' names, or initials, or keep blogs private.<BR/><BR/>We're the first generation of parents with this power, and we're all still learning the ropes, especially as the technology changes. A parent can eventually make a blog private, or archive it and take it down, but there's always Google Time Machine and who-knows-what technology coming down the pike.<BR/><BR/>I'm assuming that since virtually every peer of mine who is a parent has some form of a blog with public photos, the sheer VOLUME of mommy blogs will eventually prevent kids from being able to identify their schoolmates' pages.<BR/><BR/>Anonymous also said to Sheila:<BR/>"...BTW, to the person ranting about "bullys". Its bullies. Thats the plural. Bullies."<BR/><BR/>It's the internet. We're busy parents. As long as arguments are understandable, we ignore typos and stick to the issue at hand. But since you brought it up, "Its" is a plural. You meant "It's," for "It is." Same with "That's." Pedants who live in glass grammatical houses shouldn't throw stones.Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14763877642559553234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-50931060099042700862008-07-11T16:25:00.000-05:002008-07-11T16:25:00.000-05:00From Helen Harrison:I want to thank everyone who e...From Helen Harrison:<BR/><BR/>I want to thank everyone who expressed concern and support for Ed, and for DH and me, during this difficult time, including Kristie, Tammy, Anon 11:00, and those of you who have contacted me off the blog.<BR/><BR/>It has been terrifying, and I suspect it will continue to be, if the MDs current diagnosis is correct. <BR/><BR/>I do want to emphasize, once again, my strong conviction that Paige's difficulties are no less physically-based, prematurity- related, and terrifying than those afflicting my son.<BR/><BR/>My heart goes out to Paige and her family. I wish us *all* strength and courage for the road ahead!<BR/><BR/>Helen HarrisonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-43281580403328898582008-07-11T09:40:00.000-05:002008-07-11T09:40:00.000-05:00Chris and Vic here:Okay, we all know that controve...Chris and Vic here:<BR/><BR/>Okay, we all know that controversy and stirring the pot and sensationalism is a draw. I sometimes wonder if we don't respond to these kind of prompts because of boredom. We need a bit of excitement, so we jump into the fray. <BR/><BR/>It is obvious that we all have our individual styles and values in parenting. <BR/><BR/>It is obvious that we are all trying to create our own (new) "Normal" with our kids who, as ex-preemies, do not follow most of the norms. <BR/><BR/>Also, we all stumble through, finding our way, making some mistakes, re-visiting our former decisions and revising them . . . <BR/><BR/>Many have pointed out that you cannot give the absolute right advice, nor can you judge, because you aren't there, on the front lines, living day-to-day with the child in question--in this case, Paige (and Stacy). <BR/><BR/>Stacy wrote to say what she learned about herself, and to say that Paige has had a success. <BR/>We can discuss what Stacy learned and where Paige is, without blaming, judging. We can openly explore these lessons, developmental stages, successes.<BR/><BR/>But to be judgmental shuts down some people, while inflaming others. I don't see either of those responses as uplifing or healthy. Stirring the pot is just getting your adrenaline and cortisol rushing. It has the same feeling as reading the tabloids at the end of the check-out aisle in the grocery store. It is not rational; it doesn't lead to further insights (for me). <BR/><BR/>Please, let's be kind to one another, and supportive.<BR/><BR/>Chris and VicAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-46628452609894700992008-07-11T08:02:00.000-05:002008-07-11T08:02:00.000-05:00Anonymous, I do hear what you're saying, and I nev...Anonymous, I do hear what you're saying, and I never want to create a situation where prematurity is my children's sole identity. I don't think it's fair to say how much of Paige's identity is linked to being a preemie, because we don't know Paige. The focus here is on effects of prematurity so obviously it will be talked about a lot. <BR/>And if you've read here before you'd know there are some things I agree with and others I don't; but criticizing Stacy's parenting of Paige is something I strongly disagree with. <BR/>I'm coming from a place where it seems clear to me that the effects of prematurity will be an obvious factor in my children's lives. In my opinion, their scars alone are reason enough to explain their early birth to them. Perhaps this is not the case for all preemies, and perhaps the less obvious signs, the easier it is to question how much a child should know about their early birth. <BR/>Another important point is that knowing about their dx or birth history can help a child feel less alone. When you know why something is the way it is it can be easier to deal with.23wktwinsmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00938265379492098537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-54975119872270049082008-07-11T00:19:00.000-05:002008-07-11T00:19:00.000-05:00To anon July 9, 2008 11:47 PMFrom Laura V.People w...To anon July 9, 2008 11:47 PM<BR/>From Laura V.<BR/><BR/>People with obsessive behaviors may be able to control those behaviors for short periods of time. Usually, the behavior worsens afterwards. This can happen with OCD behaviors much like it happens with tics. <BR/><BR/>For example, many times kids can control their behaviors while at school and then totally melt down at home because they cannot possibly hold it in any longer. That does not mean they're not dealing well with their home environment.<BR/><BR/>A child may be able to control a behavior like skin picking or even a motor tic but may not be able to concentrate in school.<BR/><BR/>My son has OCD. He HATES it. He tries really hard not to do the behaviors but when he doesn't do them the anxiety is horrid. <BR/><BR/>Also, think about the fact that Paige has OCD. Isn't it conceivable that the fact that she recites medical history is an expression of her OCD?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-18983080856427682332008-07-10T23:00:00.000-05:002008-07-10T23:00:00.000-05:00There's more than one anonymous here. I did the po...There's more than one anonymous here. I did the post agreeing with the first poster only. 23 week twin mommy- I'm pretty sure you are the boxer's wife, right? I've read your blog and you appear to be a loving, open, balanced person. Everything you wrote in the comments makes total sense and I agree with you.<BR/><BR/>However, I think there's some kind of indelible boundary between awareness of and full identification with one's issues and this is where PE's kid appears to have needed more parental guidance. When you are ticking off your ailments to your peers etc. at school to the point where they think you are weird, then you are overly identified with your labels. Thats a parental boundary problem because parents aid in early development of self-identification issues.<BR/><BR/>I think PE really loves her child, but what a mistake. Plus, how fair is it to post her pic and name on a public site with stories of scab pickings and eyeball gouging etc.? How much is she going to love THAT when she turns 16 or so??? Another parental boundary violation. A HUGE one. At least change her name and hide the pics. <BR/><BR/>Helen that must have been terrifying. I'm so sorry. <BR/><BR/>BTW, to the person ranting about "bullys". Its bullies. Thats the plural. Bullies.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-17072729128427214352008-07-10T22:37:00.000-05:002008-07-10T22:37:00.000-05:00Anon wrote: "All children, be they the products of...Anon wrote: "All children, be they the products of 24 or 42 weeks gestation, deserve a chance at life - not the life determined for them by the statistics and studies that bind them - but a life that is free and open to all that they personally can achieve."<BR/><BR/>Before anyone responds to this person... I would prefer that you didn't. <BR/><BR/>Clearly they are trying to stir the pot. My post is not about statistics and studies or what type of life one can achieve. It was about Paige's triumphs and my lesson learned. <BR/><BR/>Stick around anonymous. There will be plenty of opportunities, in the future, for you to argue since I blog about controversial subjects. This isn't one of them.ThePreemie Experimenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15882375368535807238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-90506108581070142912008-07-10T22:30:00.000-05:002008-07-10T22:30:00.000-05:00"Cowardly, cowardly, bullys (like you in case I've..."Cowardly, cowardly, bullys (like you in case I've not been clear here) - who continue to prove both their cowardice and their bullying nature through nasty, small minded and most importantly anonymous posting, are pathetic. Stacy should never worry about having a thin skin - since clearly she doesn't since she allows the cowdardly bullys to continue their immature tirades unchecked here. No one cares what invisible haters think. You are hilarious, if pitiful bafoons."<BR/><BR/>Huh????<BR/><BR/>I may be missing something here, but the name calling appears to be entirely onesided. SOMEONE seems to be having issues with the fact that they are not controlling the allowed dialogue. Whatever I think of your mental state I have kept to myself, since it really has no bearing on the current conversation. All children, be they the products of 24 or 42 weeks gestation, deserve a chance at life - not the life determined for them by the statistics and studies that bind them - but a life that is free and open to all that they personally can achieve.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6205556462251851125.post-64831195827683990452008-07-10T19:57:00.000-05:002008-07-10T19:57:00.000-05:00I know Stacy probably won't want to do this becaus...I know Stacy probably won't want to do this because it could negatively impact the range of views and opinions here, but there is an option to disallow anonymous posters. I personally have, at times, vehemently disagreed with opinions here. However, I have never posted anonymously and have therefore made it possible for others to respond to my remarks. It made the conversations more real and the "debates" more meaningful. I agree with Helen (for once...JUST KIDDING!!!) that anonymous posters should initial or do SOMETHING to help identify them for the purpose of response. <BR/><BR/>And Stacy has discussed this before, but maybe we need to visit it...where do we draw the line about what we tell our preemies about their birth history and medical dxes? I for one strongly believe in telling my children about their history for a variety of reasons, strongest of which is my desire for them to be able to advocate for themselves and for safety reasons. One example is with their lung disease it is likely respiratory issues will follow them throughout their lives. They need to be able to explain this to a teacher, nurse, etc. Of course as a parent I will too and it will be in records. But what about a substitute teacher or someone unfamiliar with them? The more they can say about their health to help in an emergency, the better.<BR/>Additionally, this "preemie princess" or in my case, "preemie princess and prince" notion is kinda humorous. For me personally, my children are royalty, miracles, the lights of our lives, etc. They will always be spoiled by love, and while I never want to encourage them to use their prematurity as an *excuse* for misbehavior, the fact IS their lives ARE colored by their extreme early birth. To pretend that they are "typical" is an injustice. I'm not advocating that they should get special privileges to do whatever they want, but at the same time to ignore the physical, mental, and developmental effects of prematurity that may arise would be extremely unfair to them. <BR/>I also won't deny that almost losing them will always live with me, and I do not separate how blessed I feel they survived with my parenting. There is something extremely unique about knowing that things could have turned out very differently. This doesn't escape me, and still can bring me to tears as I soothe them to sleep each night. So maybe they will be overly "princessy or "princy" but OH WELL!<BR/><BR/>I also want to say that we need to be very careful about judging the way parents raise their children; and I'd argue especially in the case of children directly effected by medical and special needs. And if you haven't been there, you have NO IDEA.23wktwinsmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00938265379492098537noreply@blogger.com